>Yoga or Bowling?

>Tonight was the first class in my new ten week session of yoga. I specifically signed up for this class because the hottie instructor said he was teaching Levels 1 and 2 back-to-back on Tuesday nights, and I figured I could handle the more advanced level with his encouragment. I even gave up watching the pre-game and beginning of the Orange Bowl, where my alma mater, Penn State, is beating the tar out of the Florida State Criminoles.

But when I arrived early, I noticed Jen, the yoga-nazi, was teaching the Level 1 class that was just ending. I said to the girl sitting next to me “I thought that other guy was supposed to be teaching this class!” to which she replied, “I hope not, I hope Jen is teaching us because I’ve been taking yoga from her for 3 years and I worship the ground she walks on and kiss her limber ass.” (Ok I might have added that last bit.) So I turned to the guy on my other side and said “Didn’t you take the class with that other guy last session?” and he said “Mark? No, I took it with Jen when Mark was a student too. I’ve been taking with her for awhile. And I kiss her limber ass too.”

Am I the only one who thinks Mark (whose name I just learned) rocks the house? Apparently my YMCA is filled with masochists. Jen, the yoga-nazi, proceeded to launch us into a full hour of hard-core yoga, with no easy cat stretches, no child’s pose, no breaks for instruction. After the first series of plank, chaturanga, updog, downdog, she said “That was not terrible. And for those of you who know me, you know that’s really saying something!” I thought to myself, “You’re PROUD of the fact that you’re a bitch?!”

I huffed and puffed and wobbled and fell over the whole class. Every muscle shook and I couldn’t catch my breath no matter how much she said “find your breath, everything is calm.” Why did I not hear anyone else panting? I fought through the tenderness of my sprained ankle, figuring the stretching would help it. When we did inversions, I suddenly realized that I REALLY shouldn’t eat a big dinner of smoked sausage and Mac ‘N Cheese before class. Not to mention all the chocolate I’ve been gorging on for the past two weeks. I totally thought I was going to hurl. When we finally relaxed into reclined bow I suddenly saw her face over top of mine and she said “Better, huh?” to which I smiled and nodded. After several minutes of corpse pose, with the lights out, my eyes closed, and peaceful background music, I REALLY didn’t want to move. I wanted to stay in corpse forever. My hands even still shook when I pressed them together at heart center for our closing “Ooohhhhhhhmmmmm…..” Ugh.

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5 responses to this post.

  1. >Goodness that doesnt sound so relaxing and calming.

    Reply

  2. >Bowling with Mark would have been my choice ;)Way to Go PSU!

    Reply

  3. >Bowling. It is the only Sport/game besides Golf that it is expected that you drink Beer while playing. Plus My bro has a bowling alley in Downingtown.

    Reply

  4. >You guys are funny. When I said “bowling” I meant “watching the Orange Bowl”. Not actual bowling…although that IS fun.

    Reply

  5. >Umm, my muscles hurt just thinking about it!! Oh, and when you were talking about what you ate, I totally thought you were going to say you farted in class. 🙂

    Reply

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