>I Hate Valentine’s Day

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I don’t hate it because I am single…I’m not. Though long ago I spent many a V.D. as a teenager without a boyfriend or even a date, and I hated it then. Except for one time my senior year in high school when my best guy friend, Larry, who didn’t even go to my school, sent me a singing telegram with a flower in the middle of math class. How he managed this I have no idea. How could I not adore him? But there was his evil girlfriend in the way. By the time she dumped him and he figured out I was girlfriend material, I was in college and had moved on. He made one play for me, got shot down, and to this day we are great friends.

Enough about him. I hate V.D. because it is a Hallmark made-up holiday. It’s a stupid reason to worry about buy cards and stupid useless gifts. But we are expected to do so, and I usually conform to expectations. Last week I had to send cards and gifts for my husband’s birthday, my mom’s birthday, and my grandfather’s birthday. And now not only do I have to send cards from me, I have to send cards from Nathan too. Now this week I had to turn around and do the same thing for V.D. I hate mailing cards, I’m stamp-o-phobic or something.

But the worst part of V.D. are my own unrealistic expectations. I don’t know where this comes from, but according to the book, The Five Love Languages, by Gary Chapman, my love language is gift giving. That means I prefer to express love by giving people things. It also means that’s the best way for someone to show me love. It is NOT my husband’s love language. Over the years he has learned that I have big expectations when it comes to gifts. But I’m not sure if he has ever FULLY met those expectations, try as he might. Sometimes he has really blown it by giving me something like an unwrapped CD for my birthday. Sometimes he has done great by giving me an iPod, but he didn’t plan a party or get a cake or something. The poor guy.

This year he did pretty well for V.D. giving me a small but thoughtful gift with a nice card. But he complained about having to go out on Saturday to get it. And today he happens to be out-of-town, so we kinda celebrated on Sunday…sorta…going to a family resturant with Nathan. Really romantic! But you know what I would really like? For him to arrange to have flowers delivered to me while he’s gone today. But will he? Nope. He never EVER EVER gets me flowers, no matter how often I mention it. But he’s a great guy and I feel like it’s my own fault I hate V.D. for having these stupid expectations. I really wish I could make V.D. go away and cease to exist.

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12 responses to this post.

  1. >I just ignore it 100% and it is doing very well!

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  2. >Love your hallmark comment. I just wrote “The Valentine’s Day conspiracy” as an entry submission for a blog award a few days ago…goes along the same thing you were saying. Its on my second blog “I need to vent.” I am so with you on the Love Languages. I am the gift giver and he is the acts of service. I am so not acts of service. Not at all. Not even close. Today he woke up to a card from me and one from the kids, his favorite brand of jelly beans from the kids and a bucket full of “love coupons” from me…also knowing that I bought him the Army Ranger fleece jacket he wanted last night…and what did I get?N.O.T.H.I.N.G. He was home yesterday and he didn’t even go out and get me anything.I hate today.

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  3. >Im with you sister… we dont do anything..

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  4. >It’s hard to ignore…I am a romantic!I do see it also as something to boost sales.So, why not have it be special in a non commercial way?So many ways to say I love you.

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  5. >Flowers, schmowers. They just die. It’s the fiscally conservative part of him that won’t waste money on flowers. Poor Mike, he can’t win. What if I told you that he told me that his love for you “burns with the heat of a thousand suns”. Would that work? Just trying to help a brother out. I ‘heart’ all you bloggers.

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  6. >Oh blogawakening, I know you’re right, he doesn’t buy flowers because they are overpriced and just die. You know my husband well. But if you told me he said that about me, I would burst out laughing. So what do you and the pregnant little wifey do for V.D.?

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  7. >we make simple around here… I always get a dozen roses and he always gets Beet Soup. It’s yearly pattern that we don’t deiate from … oh & great sex too! http://hlb.blogspot.com/2005/02/nothing-says-be-my-valentine-better.html

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  8. >happy valentine’s day!may your boots be knocked to your level of satisfaction!

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  9. >mcg- that, my friend, is a wonderful greeting…they should put that on a cardToo bad the hubster is out of town tonight…no boot-knockin here!

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  10. >Hi! Mainline Mom. I did not really have anything to say but hello.

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  11. >I think it’s a genetic trait in men. Some guys “get it” and some don’t. Some men are really interesting in what they hear you say you want. I was talking in general about work one day and how I needed a certain program so I could do some work from home… Guess what I got for Christmas? That program. Not romantic, but really sweet in the fact that he heard me say I wanted something specific and got it to me.

    Reply

  12. >Well, with a two year old and a wife that’s ready to pop, we definitely skipped the romantic scene. We went to a fine Italian restaurant called CiCi’s pizza and let the youngin’ run around and bother the other young kids and their parents that made the same decision as us. But I did come through the prior weekend with the purchase of a manicure and a pregnancy massage at a nearby dayspa. I stayed at home and vacuumed and cleaned the bathrooms while she did that. Gold star for me.

    Reply

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