>I Hate Roller Coasters

>Really I do. Which is also why I hate pregnancy hormones. I feel like I’m on an emotional roller coaster, and I am not a terribly emotional girl.

Mike’s been gone all week. Normally this wouldn’t bother me much. But Nathan has been far from his normally perfect self. He is moving into a phase of hitting, whining, crying, and throwing himself and his toys around for unknown reasons. Today he kicked Pepper and he got his first real spanking. It definately worked. I really didn’t want to ever spank him but kicking the dog was grounds for an immediate reaction. I didn’t hurt him, just startled him, which is what I was going for. In theory I don’t think spanking is a good idea, teaching a kid that me hitting him is ok but him hitting me is not seems really counter-intuitive. So I won’t make it a habit, my other forms of discipline…time outs, taking away toys or privileges…will remain the norm.

My doctor called and informed me that now I am a bit anemic and I need to start taking iron again. That may explain my occasional bouts of severe exhaustion, especially around 2:00 when I’m supposed to be hard at work. It doesn’t help that Nathan is still waking me up at 5:45am. So when I suddenly realized last night that I had a 25 page report due to the EPA by noon on Monday I had a complete meltdown/panic attack. I realized that since they wanted originals, not emails, I would have to get it in the mail either Friday night or maybe Saturday if Fed Ex could swing that. That left me barely eight hours of uninterrupted work time, in which to write 25 pages I hadn’t even started. Then Mike called and informed me he would not be home Thursday as planned. I lost it. Oh yeah, and I think I got a mild case of food poisoning when I went to dinner with my mom. On top of my lingering cough and sniffles.

So this morning I work up at 5:45 as usual and fought with Nathan to get him to school on time. I buckled down and worked my butt off on this report. I got some majorly disappointing news from my boss, and then Mike called and told me his boss had just up and quit. Mike’s boss was a good advocate for him, the kind of guy you need to help you advance. It had taken time for Mike to demonstrate his talents to this boss, and now he’ll probably have to start over with someone new. I have a faint hope it might mean a promotion, but in the interim I’m sure it will be more work and more stress for poor Mike picking up the slack.

So I turned to God for strength today and got half my report done. At some point this morning I “miraculously realized” the office I’m sending the report to is in Durham, right down the road from my company headquarters. Which meant my boss could print it and hand deliver it Monday, giving me the whole weekend to work on it. I thanked God for that answer to prayer.

Then Nathan took a nice long nap with no arguments and woke up in a good mood….a real rarity these days. So I thanked God again and decided to go to yoga class. Yoga was nothing short of blissful. I didn’t cough…much….I could breathe through my nose…a miracle…and my dinner stayed where it belonged so I didn’t have to make an emergency run to the bathroom like I thought I might have to. My balance is amazingly better than it was a month or so ago, and my hips and back have been essentially pain free.

Then at the end of class I was talking to Mark and it suddenly dawned on me that Monday is not May 23rd, the day my report is due….it’s only the 21st!! I ran home and double checked to make sure I wasn’t delusional again. It’s true, my report is due Wednesday!! That’s two whole more work days to finish it. Which meant I could relax tonight and watch Grey’s. And it means I get to actually enjoy my weekend. Such a silly mixup would ordinarily be a minor pleasant surprise, but to me it feels like I’m dancing on a cloud. So the roller coaster goes back up and I feel like a giddy moron. And I’m thanking God yet again for having my back.

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3 responses to this post.

  1. >Yep, He’s even sovereign over preggo hormones…amazing, isn’t He?

    Reply

  2. >Just a couple of passages should you find yourself feeling like you can’t do it all yourself. Because guess what, you can’t do it all yourself. No one can. But you can do all things through Christ, who will strengthen you. 28″Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” – Matthew 116Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. 7Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. 8Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 9Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings. 10And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. 11To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen. – 1 Peter 5

    Reply

  3. >When stuff like that happens and you get that much needed breather, it’s just like ahhhhhhhh. I so feel that.

    Reply

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